Core 2 – Intent, page 73.
“In law, a man is guilty when he violates the right of another. In ethics, he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so.” – Immanuel Kant
- Important issues we’re dealing with when we talk about intent.
- Intent matters.
- It grows out of character.
- While we tend to judge ourselves by our intent, we tend to judge others by their behavior.
- We also tend to judge others’ intent based on our own paradigms and experience.
- Our perception of intent has a huge impact on trust.
- People often distrust us because of the conclusions they draw about our actions.
- It is important for us to actively influence the conclusions others draw by “declaring our intent.”
- As illustrated in the tree metaphor, intent is represented by the trunk – partly unseen underground, partly visible above.
- While our motives and agendas are deep inside in our own hearts and minds, they become visible to others through our behaviors and what we share with others.
What is Intent?
- No discussion of intent would be complete without talking about three things: motive, agenda, and behavior.
- Motive
- Motive is your reason for doing something.
- It is the “why” that motivates the “what.”
- The motive that inspires the greatest trust is genuine caring – caring about people, caring about purpose, caring about the quality of what you do, caring about society as a whole.
- Motive matters, and the motive of caring will do more than anything else to build credibility and trust.
- If you don’t care – and you don’t want to care – that’s fine. But you need to understand that you will pay a tax because of it! Whatever you say or do will take more time and it will cost more because you will not gain the credibility and trust that comes from caring.
- You also need to understand that if you act like you care when you truthfully don’t, ultimately – if not immediately – you will have a “comeuppance” and the tax will be even greater. Few trust taxes are higher than those attached to duplicity, particularly regarding motive.
- Agenda
- Agenda grows out of motive.
- It’s what you intend to do or promote because of your motive.
- The agenda that generally inspires the greatest trust is seeking mutual benefit:
- Genuinely wanting what’s best for everyone involved.
- You genuinely want to see others win.
- You recognize that life is interdependent, so you seek out solutions that build trust and benefit all.
- The opposite of a mutual benefit agenda is a self-serving agenda:
- A self-serving agenda may get results, but you need to ask yourself: Are these the best possible results I could be getting? And: Are these results sustainable over time?
- Sooner or later, you will pay a huge tax, and your approach will not be sustainable.
- Instead of building credibility and trust, you’re creating roadblocks of suspicion and distrust.
- Behavior
- Typically, behavior is the manifestation of motive and agenda.
- The behavior that best creates credibility and inspires trust is acting in the best interest of others.
- When we do so, we demonstrate the intent of caring and the agenda of seeking mutual benefit.
- It’s easy to say “I care” and “I want you to win,” but it is our behavior that demonstrates whether or not we mean it.
How To Improve Intent
- Examine and Refine Your Motives
- It’s human tendency to assume we have a good – or at least justifiable – intent.
- How can we get down to the deepest level to examine our motives, discover why we do what we do, and change what needs to be changed?
- Soul-searching questions:
- Are my actions motivated by genuine caring and love?
- Am I really seeking the best interest of the other person?
- Am I humble enough to admit if I am wrong?
- Am I trying to impose my will on the other person?
- Am I sincerely listening to what the other has to say?
- Am I genuinely open to their influence?
- Do I understand where they are coming from?
- Or, am I more focused on explaining my point of view, being right, or getting my way?
- Do I genuinely want what’s best for us both?
- Do I know what constitutes a “win” for the other person?
- Declare Your Intent
- Declaring your intent and expressing your agenda and motives can be very powerful, particularly if your behavior is being misinterpreted or misunderstood by others.
- Declaring your intent is valuable as a means of establishing trust in a new relationship.
- The main reason why declaring intent increases trust is that it signals your behavior – it lets people know what to look for so they can recognize, understand, and acknowledge it when they see it.
- Choose Abundance
- Abundance means that there is enough for everybody.
- The opposite – scarcity – says that there is only so much to go around, and if you get it, I won’t.
- While scarcity may be a reality in some areas (sports, forced grading curves), in most of the important things in life, such as love, success, energy, results, and trust – abundance is not only a reality, it is an attractor and generator of even more.
