Behavior #2: Demonstrate Respect, page 144.
Summary: Behavior #2 – Demonstrate Respect
- Genuinely care for others.
- Show you care.
- Respect the dignity of every person and every role.
- Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you.
- Show kindness in the little things.
- Don’t show fake caring.
- Don’t attempt to be “efficient” with people.
Behavior #2 Demonstrate Respect
“You can judge a person’s character by the way he treats people who can’t help or hurt him.” – Anonymous
- There are two critical dimensions to this behavior:
- Behave in ways that show fundamental respect for people.
- Behave in ways that demonstrate caring and concern.
- Demonstrate Respect is based on the principles of respect, fairness, kindness, love, and civility.
- The overarching principle, however, is the intrinsic worth of individuals – the importance of each human being as a part of the human family.
- The opposite of Demonstrate Respect is not respecting other people. This is commonly experienced as showing disrespect.
- The opposite also includes not showing people you care – either because you don’t care, or because you don’t know how or don’t want to take the time to do it.
- The counterfeit of Demonstrate Respect is to fake respect or concern, or most insidious of all, to show respect and concern for some (those who can do something for you), but not for all (those who can’t).
The Little Things
- Demonstrate Respect is a clear example of the disproportionate impact of the “little things” in building Trust Accounts.
The Bottom Line
- While Demonstrate Respect may come across as a “soft” behavior to some, I contend that it absolutely has a direct relationship to trust and therefore to the bottom line.
- Why is it that only 42% of employees believe that management cares about them at all? In too many cases, though management might talk about it, management does not fundamentally behave in ways that demonstrate respect, and as a result, employees do not trust management.
- When employees believe that their managers don’t care, how willing will they be to give their best? To be innovative? To collaborate? On the other hand, how quick are employees to complain, criticize, unionize, and strike?
Trust Tips
- With Demonstrate Respect on the bell curve, it becomes obvious that the behaviors on the left – which demonstrate too little concern – often derive from issues of Integrity (insufficient humility), Intent (too much ego; not caring enough), or Capabilities (not knowing how to demonstrate caring or respect).
- Excessive behaviors on the right – including overprotectiveness, jealousy, pandering, and unproductive worry – may come from issues of Intent (more focus on self than on acting in what is someone’s best interest), Capabilities (attitude and style), and Results (taking too much responsibility; not being sensitive to the effects of the behavior).
Improving Your Ability to Demonstrate Respect
- Apply the “Waiter Rule”:
- Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you.
- Think about specific things you can do to show others you care about them:
- Call people.
- Write thank-you notes.
- Give acknowledgment.
- Send e-mails of concern.
- Try to do something each day to put a smile on someone’s face.
- Never take existing relationships for granted:
- Avoid the common tendency to put more energy into new relationships and assume people in existing relationships know you care.
- There is probably a greater need for demonstrations of concern in existing relationships than in new relationships.
