Behavior #5: Show loyalty, page 165.
Summary: Behavior #5 – Show Loyalty
- Give credit freely.
- Acknowledge the contributions of others.
- Speak about people as if they were present.
- Represent others who aren’t there to speak for themselves.
- Don’t bad-mouth others behind their backs.
- Don’t disclose others’ private information.
Behavior #5 – Show Loyalty
- To Show Loyalty is a way to make huge deposits in the Trust Account – not only to the person you show loyalty to but also to everyone who becomes aware that you do it.
- Show Loyalty is based on the principles of integrity, loyalty, gratitude, and recognition.
- There are many ways to show loyalty – big and small – but in this chapter, we are going to focus on two dimensions: giving credit to others, and speaking about people as though they were present.
Give Credit to Others
- One important way to Show Loyalty is to give credit to others AND to acknowledge them for their part in bringing about results.
- By giving credit, you not only affirm the value of an individual’s contribution, you also create an environment in which people feel encouraged to be innovative and collaborative and to freely share ideas.
- Jim Collins’s “the window and the mirror” metaphor:
- When things go well you look through the window; you look at everyone out there and all they did to contribute, and you give them credit, recognition, acknowledgment, and appreciation.
- When things don’t go well you look in the mirror; you don’t look out there and blame and accuse others; you look at yourself.
- The opposite of giving credit is to take the credit yourself.
- The counterfeit of giving credit is to be two-faced: to appear to give credit to someone when they’re with you, but then downplay their contribution and take all the credit yourself when they’re not there.
- Don’t just give credit where credit is due. Give credit abundantly.
Speak About Others as if They Were Present
- The opposite of this behavior is selling people out or not representing them fairly when they’re not in a position to do so themselves.
- The counterfeit of this behavior, which is equally destructive, is sweet-talking people to their faces and bad-mouthing them behind their backs.
- When someone leaves the company, do not bad-mouth them in front of your current employees.
- Interestingly, people who talk about others behind their backs often seem to think that it will build some kind of camaraderie and trust with those who are there. But the exact opposite is true. When you talk about others behind their backs, it causes those who are present to think that you’ll bad-mouth them when they’re not there.
- “To retain those who are present, be loyal to those who are absent.” – Stephen R. Covey
When You Have To Talk About People
- So, what happens when you are in a situation where your job involves talking about people?
- The difference between showing loyalty and not showing loyalty is in intent.
- If the purpose was to improve the performance or the relationship, and if the conversation was fair and respectful toward the person, then I could feel that I was showing loyalty.
Trust Tips
- On the left side of the bell curve, you behave in ways that show loyalty only in minimal ways.
- Perhaps you’re loyal as long as it’s convenient.
- Maybe you show some degree of loyalty, but not to the extent that you’re willing to take a firm stand when others disagree.
- On the right-hand side of the curve, you might behave in ways that appear to be extremely loyal to someone at the moment but are not loyal to their future well-being or principles.
- Integrity (particularly courage and congruence), Intent (motive and behavior), and Capabilities (trust abilities) play a big role in helping you stay in the area of maximization.
Improving Your Ability to Show Loyalty
- The next time you’re in a conversation where people start bad-mouthing someone who’s not there, consider your options:
- You can participate.
- You can leave.
- You can stay but remain silent.
- You can say something positive about the person to try to balance out the conversation.
- Or you can say, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this person like this when he/she is not here. If we have a concern, let’s go talk to this person directly.”
- The next time you work with others on a project, go out of your way to give credit freely. Help create an environment in which everyone’s contributions are recognized and every person is acknowledged. Give credit generously.
